Something weird is going on here… Inside me. I feel really odd; a strange combination of emotional, upset, scared, neutral, anticipatory, and excited about what is shifting, even though I don’t know what it is?
I was just listening to an Abraham Hicks audio, in video format, that I’ve heard before, about creating one’s own reality despite circumstances, and I noticed that I was feeling really odd, so I thought I’d try to capture it.
I’m not sure it’s related to the video I was listening to or not (so I’ll make a separate post about that tomorrow.)
I’ve been thinking this morning that my book is really about something less specific than the election, and more universal in nature. Something like “tired!” Or overwhelm, or trauma, or every day PTSD, like “PTSD: it’s not just for veterans anymore”, or burn out, or finding joy, or accessing joy by healing trauma….
This is something bigger than just healing what’s going on with, cough, trump.
I can even hear it in my voice right now — a sudden raspy, hoarse, froggy in my throat telling me there’s something that wants to be said there. Something that I’m not saying, that there is something that wants to be coughed out. But it’s not close enough to the surface yet for me to know what it is.
So what is it? If I check inside, and give my throat, or my phlegm, or my hoarseness a voice what does it want to say?
Hoarseness: “I feel like I’m being pushed, by everybody, and even by myself. And the drama.”
Hoarseness: “You really want, peace, joy, connection, knowing your place in the world, and your value. It’s not by dealing with what is out there. No matter how compelling, or distracting, or attention-grabbing what someone else, anyone else, is going through, or doing, that is not your path.”
Hoarseness: “Feel YOUR feelings, experience YOUR grief, your heart, and let others be on their own path, their own journey, it is not yours to do, to try to help them with their’s.”
Andrea: “So why are these other people in the world at all then? What am I supposed to do with the demands other people place on my life? Why does it feel like I am supposed to have some responsibility with regard to them?”
Hoarseness: “You are here to be a blessing to them, by seeing only their light.”
Andrea: “But that feels like so much work to me, that feels tiring. That feels like a responsibility I don’t want to have.”
Then, at that very moment I had the impulse to complete an exercise I was working on from the book: It Didn’t Start With You, by Mark Wolynn.
But, almost as fast, possibly in an attempt by my ego to get out of doing what the hoarseness aspect was telling me to do (seeing only the light of those I felt were causing pain and trouble), I went back to listening to the YouTube audio instead.
So, my notes from that video:
You’re not really believing in your own personal power. You keep wanting to come together in groups, because you mistakenly believe that’s where your power is, but that’s not accurate. And, it doesn’t serve you very well, because you can never control the dynamics of the group, and the group is never representing just you. Only you can do that….”
Sound familiar? To be continued.